Weekend FAIL

This weekend I have eaten fried shrimp (eleventy billion of them), homemade waffles and bacon, a cheeseburger, approximately 1/2 of a chocolate cake, and lo mein.

The Wii will mock me tomorrow. But it was delicious. Tomorrow brings salad, chicken, and (gasp!) exercise. Bleh.

So, here's the thing...

I cannot not eat some things. What I mean is that, if I'm wanting something...like, needing wanting...I am better off to just eat it, in appropriate portions, than to deny my obsession. Because, let me tell you, said obsession will not leave. You may thing it's on its way out. You may even see it head for the door. But I assure you, all of that is fuckery in its finest form.

Case in point, I thought about donuts for days. No secret that I'm a big fan of the sweets. I'm a fan of anything yummy really, but I digress.
Finally, I got one. ONE. I have never in my life had just one of anything and certainly not a donut. But I did this time. And I am stoked about it. I assure you that had I continued to fantasize about its chocolate covered goodness, I would have ended up with a dozen on my desk serving as breakfast, snack, lunch, and snack.

And you know what else? I feel more victorious in eating one, that I would have if I had had none. True Story.

So the moral of the story? Be good to yourself. What may appear to be a step backwards at first glance, could actually be a foundation for many many steps forward.

P.S. I'm rocking. 8lbs. Gone. Poof. Hasta never, bitches.

3 lbs down...

...eleventy billion to go.

Pretty much sums it all up.

Well, shit.

I did awesome for about 3.5 days. Ate what I had planned. Counted every morsel. Even walked past...get this, are you ready....Fried Cheesecake. Are you fucking kidding me? The diet gods were having a ball with that one, I assure you. But I did well. I stood tall and strong. Eyes on the prize, J. Eyes on the prize.

Enter, Thursday. I'm ravenously hungry and not in a very good mood. I eat a late night sammie followed by 3/4 of a box of Devils Food Cookies.

Friday - I ditch the lean cuisine for Quiznos (and not a turkey on wheat hold the mayo kind of Quiznos). Then proceed to drink the remainder of my alloted calories.

I do not like this diet plan.
I do not like it, Sam I am.

I'm starving. NFT.

P.S.

Who the fuck decided that 1/2 cup of ice cream was " a serving"????!!!!

That - is what I want to know.

I'm still alive.

Despite the fact that I have had nothing yummy to eat in over 24 hours. Well, that's not entirely true. I like to exaggerate things. But still, life is very different already. I'm doing well so far though. So onward, I go.

Dinner: Night 1

Salad. With Grilled Chicken. Very good. Better than I thought it would be. Except I'm still hungry. I probably ought to get used to that.

So, here I am.

Some would say that I have "struggled" with my weight all my life. I would say that I've been pretty content in my chub. That's because a) I like my body b) I like to eat c) I'm not a big fan of sweat.
But all of that has to end now. Except for a. Anyway, I am currently trying to get knocked up, and the spawn needs a healthy place to grow. So, I am making some lifestlye changes. I am not particularly excited about this. I'm sure I will get there. I will say that I am ready to make some changes. I am, for the first time in my life, not okay with my weight/size. And not being okay with where I am, is not okay with me.
So, here we go.